Kaitlyn shares her best tips on how you can show someone you really care.
Three simple steps is all it takes!

Do you have a relative that is struggling or going through a hard time? Maybe its a friend who’s mother just passed away. And you want to show her that you care, but don’t know exactly what to say or do to be of any help…

We’ve all been there. And while a simple: “You’re in my thoughts and on my heart.” can be kind - how do you really let your friend know that you care about them?

I’d like to share my 3-step process for putting together a meaningful care package for any friend. This kind of gift doesn’t need to be extravagant, but with a little thought and planning - you can send someone a gift that really says: “I’ve been thinking about you!”.

A Little About My Friend…

The package I’m putting together is for a friend, let’s call her “L”. Actually, she’s not a friend - more of an acquaintance…less than that even, really - I’ve only met her once. Let me give you a quick backstory:

She is an associate’s wife and I’ve only actually met her once. We did, though, hit it off immediately. Ever since then, I’ve been keeping L in the forefront of my mind. You see, she is in the battle of her life…a battle for her life: she’s got cancer.

As a sideline observer (not friend, relative, or even same-city-dweler), there’s not much that comes to mind that would be of direct help to her. I don’t know her well enough to pick up the phone and leave encourage voice messages (although, perhaps, these may be readily accepted). I can’t take her family a home-made dinner because we live hundred of miles apart. And its work-related…so…its tricky. I am careful to not overstep and share my own beliefs on metaphysics and the mystical workings of the universe. So - I find myself at a loss.

What to do? What to do?

However, the other day while on a morning walk, feeling abundantly grateful for a cool September morning, my mind wandered to L and her current situation. I was thinking about her next steps for treatment, her sons, and more specifically thinking: “Is there anything that I can do to help them? Is there something I can send to her?”.

All of a sudden, a certain crystal sphere on my shelf at home came to mind. It was completely out of the blue. This may sound a little funny, but I find thoughts like this very important. I pay attention to signs and signals from the universe. I listen to what Robert Moss calls “Sidewalk Oracles”. Ideas and thoughts come into your mind for many reasons and I try to pay close attention to all of these little “whispers”. In that moment, I think this crystal was telling me something.

“…you need to learn to trust your feelings as you walk the roads of this world, to develop your personal science of shivers, to recognize in your gut and your skin and in free-floating impressions that you know far more than you hold on the surface of consciousness.”
- Robert Moss, *Sidewalk Oracles*

Crystals Can Communicate

I love sparkly things. I always have. I love glitter and sequins and jewelry. As I’ve gotten older and matured in my beliefs…and somewhat my tastes… I have developed a love of crystals. Not the Swarovski or synthetic type - but the natural, nature-formed, geode and gemstone crystals that come from the Mama Earth. Each type of crystal holds a certain vibration that helps with different aspects of the physical world. Some are tools for healing, some can be used to remember or interpret dreams, some simply increase the vibration of joy or love in a room. And in their own special and amazing way - crystals are “alive”. I believe, as many crystal lovers do, that you can connect and tune in to a crystal and it may communicate back to you to tell you things about the world and yourself.

Pink Amethyst is a Healer

So while I was walking this beauty - my Pink Amethyst geode sphere… came to mind. And I believe that in that moment, my sphere was telling me that it wanted to go live with my friend and be with her during her healing journey. As soon as I returned from my walk, I looked up the meaning of Pink Amethyst. Tears came to my eyes as this description of this gemstone confirmed my intuition:

Robert Simmons writes: “When I first held a specimen of the new Pink Amethyst to my heart, I felt an immediate and powerful sense of peace and comfort flow into me.”…”Pink Amethyst is a fantastic stone for healers-both for themselves and their client. It pours healing vibrations into one’s heart chakra, and these energies spread throughout the body.”

(Even still, in writing this and rereading his words as I typed them above, I am overcome with emotion. These are big feelings and they need to be recognized, respected, and most importantly - acted upon.)

And while I do not know if my friend shares these same beliefs on intuition, crystals, and metaphysics; I won’t see her response to our care package and I cannot predict the outcome of her treatment. It is amazing, though, to think that I purchased this lovely stone nearly 3 years ago for a more noble reason than for it to sit on my bookshelf.

Joe Dispenza tells a story in his book, Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself, about a medical trial that involved a group of “intercessors” and hospital patients. In this controlled trial volunteers were asked to pray for sick patients.

The results were conclusive. The patients had decreased fever, shorter hospital stays, and less death. However, what is most astonishing is this: the names of the patients were from 5-10 years earlier. The intercessors were completing their prayers several years after the patients were actually in the hospital, but the results were during their healing process. The vibrations and energy that affected these patients were not limited by space and time and the intercessors efforts were still effective!

What if I purchased it for this very moment, for this very gift? To have it on hand…to listen to its request…and to send it on its way to a new owner? What if this stone is the key to unlocking her body’s healing? It is not my duty to understand every mysterious and wonderful working of the universe. But rather, I believe that all I am asked to do is to listen to the “whispers of my heart” and act upon them according.

My 3-Step Process

During difficult times when there are no words… they are always still sweet thoughts, kind smiles, and warm hugs.

I have found over the years, that there has been an increasing need to send more and more little gifts like these. While the goal of this care package is not to eliminate the hardship or sorrow, it is intended to send an encouraging thought or sympathetic wish. These little “touches” hope to brighten someone’s day and make the journey just a bit more bearable.

And while a bouquet of flowers is always a gorgeous gift, creatively thinking about the recipient, sourcing the gifts, and putting together your own package says a little something different - that you took time out of your (busy) schedule to thoughtfully choose and assemble this package. Think of items that are nice to have but she may not have purchased them for herself, the goal is comfort, luxury and enjoyment.

Here is my 3-step process for putting together a care or bereavement package:

1) How well do you know the recipient?

If you don’t know him or her well, try to choose items that anyone would appreciate. Think along these lines: something pretty to look at, nice to smell, or easy to enjoy. *Extra special touch: I always love to look for items that are artisanally or locally made, hand-crafted, or one-of-a kind.

Here are a few suggestions to get you thinking:

an artisan candle & sassy boxed matches
an organic lotion & eye mask
any luxurious bath products with a hair towel wrap
a cheeky fun mug & local fresh coffee
a potted plan and seasonal floral pick

If the recipient happens to be a closer acquaintance or friend, think about what specific hobbies or interests they have. Do they love bird watching? A new seed or feeder would be something to enjoy. Can they cook? Gift one of your favorite cookbooks with a handwritten note inside the cover. Even something as simple as a mani/pedi gift card or a new copy of your favorite novel still says: “I’ve been thinking about you and thought you would like this.”

Lastly, if you have resources (books, professionals, websites) that could be helpful in creating a sense of peace or of comfort - don’t be afraid to share them. I often give the book Signs by Laura Lynne Jackson to friends who’s loved ones have “crossed over”. I have found that it opened my eyes to some incredible truths and gave me comfort to know that I can still communicate with my loved ones after their death.

2) Wrap it up & make it pretty!

Half of the fun of receiving a gift is unwrapping it. Be sure to make this part of the experience! Take the time (and spend the money) on a beautiful wrapping job. The correct size gift box (no Amazon leftovers, please!), ample tissue paper, appropriate gift-wrap, and lovely ribbon all make the gift something special.

You can expect to pay anywhere from $5-$15 extra on wrapping, depending on how much supplies you have at home. For this gift I’m using several gift-wrapping boxes, krinkle filler, tissue paper, wrapping, ribbon, and of course - tape. All in all, I spend around $19.00 for all of these supplies. But keep in mind that I’m adding them to my gift-wrapping station & will get several uses out of each of them. I’m not a math major - but I figure that the cost breakdown is probably 1/3 of that! (Side note: but you might also need to plan on any shipping charges as well. Kindness isn’t cheap… but its so worth it!)

3) Include a hand-written note.

Writing a personal note goes the extra step. Its the finishing touch that tells your friend what’s on your heart. Take the time to think through what you want to say. Oftentimes, sympathy cards are the hardest to write and words can be difficult to find. Remember: this type of card is to provide comfort and let your friend know that you are thinking of them. You never know how impactful a written word can be to someone’s soul.

Here are some key points to keep in mind:

Express your sympathy, genuinely. Don’t try too hard - just write from your heart and be authentic. Its best to be straightforward with your sentiments and say something like: “I was so sorry to hear that your mom died.” or “I want to express my deepest sympathies for the loss of your dad.”
Share a memory or acknowledge something special about their character. It may feel awkward to write about someone who has died or someone’s new diagnosis. But these memories and sentiments can often be a source of comfort. It helps to celebrate a person’s strengths and character, while remembering fond times together. Encouraging messages include: “You are one of the strongest people I know and I know you can fight this.” or “I’m thinking often of you right now and I’m sending positive thoughts and healing your way.”
Include a special quote or poem. If you have an article, book, or piece of text that has meant something to you, feel free to pass it along. Be sure to write a special note about what the enclosure means to you and a message that lets your friend do with it what she will. No hard feelings if it doesn’t speak to her like it does to you. But you never know how it may help.
Offer to help. For a grieving or an ill friend it can be better to be specific and practical with your offers of help. Don’t simply say: “I’m here for you.” Instead, write: “I’d love to bring you dinner next week.” or “My daughter is available to babysit for your children next weekend.”
Close with an encouraging note that will reinforce your sympathy. Phrases such as: “You are in our thoughts and prayers,” or “I am here to support you in any way,” or “May you find comfort, healing, and peace,”.

Here is a condolence letter template:

Dear {Friend’s name},
I just wanted to take the time to send this care package to you and let you know how much I have been thinking about you and your family during this difficult time. I can’t pretend to imagine how tough it is as you {grieve the loss of your mom}.
I will never forget {ex. that special dinner party at the lake…}. I remember how {ex. she never forgot my birthday…} and I will miss how {she always greeted me with such joy…}.
There are no words to express my heartfelt sympathies for you. I’m sure time is a blur at the moment, and I’d like to offer to {take Johnny to and from school next week if that would help you. I know my kids would love to have him stay and play after school on Monday if that works for you.}
I wanted to include this {quote/poem/book} for you to read when you are ready. I have found it to be heartwarming over the years and hope that it gives you comfort and a sense of peace. Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you.
With deepest condolences,
Kait

Here is a sympathy letter template:

Dear {Friend’s name},
I just wanted to take the time to send this care package to you and let you know how much I have been thinking about you and your family during this difficult time. I can’t pretend to imagine how tough this situation is.
You are so brave and inspiring as you {continue your ongoing treatment}. I know how strong you are and I am confident that with the support of your friends and family, you will find healing. I am so thankful to have you in my life.
I’m sure time is a blur at the moment, and I’d like to offer to {take Johnny to and from school next week if that would help you. I know my kids would love to have him stay and play after school on Monday if that works for you.}
I have read some books that may be helpful in creating a sense of peace no matter what happens. If you would like for me to share them, it would be my pleasure to send them your way. Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you.
With heartfelt sympathies,
Kait

Send Healing Thoughts Too!

I wish you joy in the giving process, in thinking about the people you love, and putting together special gifts for them to enjoy. This 3-step process gives you a roadmap to know just what to say and how to help a friend in need. When put together with thought and love - any care package pr note that you send will be of great comfort to your friend.

Before you go - I ask you - the reader of this post (no matter if it is the moment of publication or years in the future)…help in my friend’s healing as well. Please take a moment’s pause and send your own kind thoughts her way, so that she may be warmed and comforted by all of the healing vibrations and energies that you can muster.

For we may never know the outright power that our thoughts have on our physical world and realities. As so many people have said before: Thoughts ARE things, and they shape the world in which we live. Vibrations are real, and they affect each and every one of us. Please join me (and my Pink Amethyst) in helping her find healing along her journey.

Still need more direction on where to start?
Here are some products to get you going! Take a look…

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